Why?

As I was sitting at home I was wondering to myself. Why do people do the things they do. Why did I become a teacher? What attracted me to teaching so much. The sad part is I am not really sure what attracted me to teaching. I just decided to become a teacher, not knowing why, not knowing what inspired me. It all confuses me in a way. That is not the only thing I wonder. Why did God take Jason from us. Is there any true reasoning behind this. Did God need him more than we needed him here. I guess if I knew what the reason was we had to loose him maybe the hurt wouldn't be so bad.
Then I always wonder why did Ryan and I get together? There must be some reasoning behind that because that never would have happened if there wasn't any reasoning. Was Jason part of that, or God, or possibly even our parents (even though they deny it). Maybe Jason decided I needed to find someone in order to help me through the rough times to follow. Maybe Jason decided he would be the best one to help me through this all. Ryan has been by my side through everything in the last year and we haven't been together that long. Ryan has become a huge part of my life and my support through the extremely rough times when you just want to go and hide, he pulls me out of my shell and helps me through facing the hard times.
Enough of wondering why all though I know it will continue to be running through my brain the rest of the day, but I gotta go to work and get something accomplished all while wondering why? and what if?.

Lots of Laugh

The weekend is just begining but vacation for me is coming to an end. Lots of time this week was spent with Ryan. Thursday night I went with the family to see Bob Marley at Sugarloaf. We are now begibing the weekend with the whole gang!

Weekend of Bliss

Not only did I celebrate my birthday last week but my family and I continued on to have a relaxing weekend at camp. Going to camp with family, the bo, and some of the best friends you could have can complete any rough week. Friday the girls went and paid a visit to the quilt shop which is always a fun, exciting, and expensive trip. Although we got many good things and I must say.....my mom bought the stuff to make a quilt. For a women who has only ever made a purse she is going to attempt to make a quilt. I must admit she has started making it and I am so proud of her. She has put together almost half of the blocks and there hasn't been and swearing or complaining (except for when I went to the basketball game and she ran out of thread.....oops, I probably should have checked that before I left). A busy day followed by going out for the evening tired fireworks and going and enjoying some Karoke, what a bunch of laughter that can be.
Saturday I got to go pick the kids up at ski school and spend a couple hours with them which is always fun because I only get to see them once about every two weeks. I enjoying going to see them and spend time with them. I went for a ride.....with all the boys, to go and check out the guys house where he feeds the deer. 100 deer is an amazing sight to see all in one day when you don't see any during hunting season.
Finished up the weekend with a great crowd to celebrate Carol's birthday and watching the Superbowl. It is always great.

Birhtday Wishes

I have totally experienced the fate of what Heaven can do. My birthday was yesterday, after my brother being gone now for a year and a half it is a very challenging life change that I have had to learn to deal with even with the many struggles. I have always said if Jason was watching over me all I ever wanted was snow on my birthday. As I am sitting at work yesterday morning and I look out my classroom window.....what is that I see, SNOW. My snow from Heaven had arrived and not any better time. Not only did I get the five flakes that I wanted it continued to snow ALL day! It didn't amount to anything but it was the point that I knew my brother was with me for the day.
Followed by my day of snow, I experienced a wonderful dinner out with the group. 12 of us went and had a wonderful dinner and ice cream cake. We had good laughs, conversations, and a great time. Not only did I get to enjoy my ice cream cake last night but I got to pack the last piece for my lunch today! Not on the diet, NO but it's once a year and indulge a little.
Diets.... oh diets, new year, NEW ME! I am committing myself to not totally strict diet but atleast watching what I eat and getting some excerise in.
Going to enjoy a wonderful weekend! Snow shoeing, hiking, watching snow mobile races, spending time with the gang and Ryan. Should be a great weekend.