Today marks a very challenging time for me. Today is 3 years since I lost my brother in a tragic sudden motorcycle accident. So I'm not really sure why and how year 1 and 2 never bothered me. Year one seemed like he was just gone on vacation and would come back soon.....oh, how I really wish that was the truth.
Year two was a blur. Just 5 days before I lost another very important figure in my life. My grandfather died suddenly after a long rough battle. So I guess when year 2 came around I was so distracted by loosing my grandfather and having such a rough time with that I never even noticed that I was crying over Jay because I was crying over both of them.
Here I sit.... year 3. It's been a week from hell.
Monday I cried off and on all day after a 1 year loss of my grandfather. I didn't sleep well at all. Tuesday and Wednesday Ryan and I were sick.....so again no sleep. Thursday it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I cried hysterically crying for over 3 hours before fianlly crying myself to sleep only to wake up a slight 2 and a half hours later. Now we sit Friday night. As I sit here realizing that it is Saturday morning. 3 YEARS.
A sleeping pill later and I still sit up crying unable to go to sleep. I worry about what the coming day has to bring. So many people around yet they have stuff to do. So I worry what do I do all day to keep myself occupied. Maybe I am better off staying in bed for the day and letting the day pass. As I need to get through today in order to be happy and joyous to celebrate Ryan's birthday on Sunday.
So a tribute to Jason..........
He liked playing on the equipment in the pit.
He loved to drive "his" dump truck. This was one of the jobs he enjoyed the most. This was is last job and he really put his heart and sole into it.
He loved to hunt. And a picture with Jay and dad in the same spot.....this amazed me up until the last 2 years.
He sure did still have a little kid inside. He always was the first to play with the toys with Preston at Christmas.
He never was always there for birthday's in the family but he was there for mom's this year! 2008 I had just moved home from college.
He enjoyed drinking but he also would help out a friend in need when Tim and Brenda were needing help working on their new camp to get it finished.
He loved his new motorcycle. He had always wanted a motorcycle and was finally able to get one.
He loved Lindsey. They may have had their trying times and things might have been difficult but I know there was true love there.
A family photo at my college graduation.
Jason was there as I completed college. I may have thought he was never going to make it cause he couldn't get out of bed but he made it.....just in the knick of time.
I have so many more picutres I really wish I could put into here but then again maybe those are the special ones I get to look at and enjoy!
Out of the house, around the yard, letting it blow in the wind!
And to finish she curls it all up around her before returning inside to lay it on the bed. 
He liked playing on the equipment in the pit.
He loved to drive "his" dump truck. This was one of the jobs he enjoyed the most. This was is last job and he really put his heart and sole into it.
He loved to hunt. And a picture with Jay and dad in the same spot.....this amazed me up until the last 2 years.
He sure did still have a little kid inside. He always was the first to play with the toys with Preston at Christmas.
He never was always there for birthday's in the family but he was there for mom's this year! 2008 I had just moved home from college.
He enjoyed drinking but he also would help out a friend in need when Tim and Brenda were needing help working on their new camp to get it finished.
He loved his new motorcycle. He had always wanted a motorcycle and was finally able to get one.
He loved Lindsey. They may have had their trying times and things might have been difficult but I know there was true love there.
A family photo at my college graduation.
Matthew came over to help and we suceeded before the rain. We got hit with a sprinkle or two but the front is painted!
Sophie just loves being outside!
Preston had heard about snakes being in the shed so we had to go on an adventure. He is serious after getting the little one trapped in this corner.
The snake even went in the tube to hide but Preston was determined to get him out so he could touch him.
I wanted to get some of the items put onto my Saturday Sampler quilt and was able to get that done.
And Bella was able to go home with a completed purse!
She was so excited to see me and was so excited to get to spend time with me. She was full of dancing, singing and TALKING!!! Boy at 20 months olds she can really talk. She picks up so many words and talks up a storm. I can't wait for another time when I get to spend more time with this little girl and do more fun things with her!
Look at all thos tubs piled in the corner. I can't even open the cupboard door!
They are stacked on top of each other and beside. Getting to the bottom one in the corner was always such an event.
It looks so much better now!
I can open the cupboard door. Everything is organized. If I am looking for something in particular I know that I now can find it, no problem!
I even got some of my larger pieces of fabrics organized in the drawers!
